An extremely suspicious owl · case #001
SweatPotato
Small owl. Big eyes. Absolutely no trust.
He saw you scrolling. He's still thinking about it.
HE SEES YOUSUBJECT: SWEAT POTATOSTATUS: WATCHING YOU
THE VIBES ARE OFFHE SAW THATTRUST NO ONEYOU LOOK FAMILIARKEEP YOUR DISTANCETHE VIBES ARE OFFHE SAW THATTRUST NO ONEYOU LOOK FAMILIARKEEP YOUR DISTANCE
01 / CONFIDENTIAL CASE FILE
The owl with
the side-eye
This is a formal introduction. He would prefer if it wasn't.
FIG. 01 / UNBLINKINGDO NOT APPROACH
Subject profile
He has Trust issues
Meet Sweat Potato. A tiny owl with the stare of someone who has read your entire search history. He doesn't trust strangers. He doesn't trust friends. He barely trusts the branch he's sitting on.
The internet called him a sweet potato. He heard “sweat potato” and immediately assumed it was a threat. Now he's here, watching the timeline one suspicious blink at a time.
✓ Cute but concerned
✓ Born suspicious
✓ One eye on you
✕ Trusting anyone
LIVE TRUST ASSESSMENT[ CLASSIFIED ]
How much
does he trust
you?
08%
0% · DEFINITELY A THREAT100% · IMPOSSIBLE
Request pending. Owl unconvinced.02 / FIELD NOTES
Four stages
of suspicion
Not a promise of riches. Just an owl making increasingly questionable decisions on the internet.
↗ CLICK A CASE FILE TO REVEAL THE FULL REPORT
You may enter
the nest
He doesn't trust you yet. Come anyway.
X / TwitterFOLLOW THE SIDE-EYE↗Pump.funVISIT THE NEST↗FOMOTHE OWL IS WATCHING↗RedditTHE OWL READS EVERYTHING↗
CA / $SWATNOT YET REVEALED